Bells are Ringing

Bells are ringing. Not only because Christmas is coming... but because my brother is engaged! Wow, one wedding after another. My sister one year, my brother the next. It feels a little strange knowing that I will soon be the sole child living in this house. And if I go away for school, my parents will have an empty nest. How time flies. And how it flies faster as we age.

How exciting :)

Unite in Worship

I went to this worship conference this past weekend. One word: awesome. Though the 13 hour days were tiring (got to Broadway church at about 8:30AM, left at 10PM), it was well worth it. Every worship session refreshed my soul. I learned a lot, and have a lot to process in my mind.

Some highlights:
Being led into worship by Tim Hughes, Reuben Morgan, Something Like Silas, Vicky Beeching, and Brian Doerksen. And seeing them as regular people, like you and me.
Todd Phillips: He's hilarious! Almost made me pee my pants... Really funny, and communicated a great message

Through it all, through the hours of worshipping God and the hours of learning, the most valuable experience I had: being overwhelmed by God's love. Not only knowing it - but feeling it.

I can fly, I can fly, I can fly!

Flying is cool. Flying on an airplane is cool. Flying on a beautiful day, with blue skies and cottonball clouds is cool.

On my trip to Winnipeg, I had the opportunity to fly on an airplane for the second time in my life. The first being when I went to Disneyland when I was eight years old. Therefore, I didn't really remember what it was like to fly on a plane. For all you frequent flyers, I am sure this will be nothing new for you.

I asked my mom if I could take the window seat. As we departed I looked down at Vancouver, getting smaller and smaller. And you know what it reminded me of? Google sattelite! With my own eyes! Yes... so you may think I am a closet dork. But it is cool... I guess since I hardly ever travel, this experience was very novel for me. We went up in to the clouds - a beautiful sight. The sparse cottonball clouds settled along a flat plane that separated the atmospheres. And since it was a clear day, I could look down through to the city below. And once again, I am awestruck by God's creation and handiwork.

And Summer Begins

After 2 summer school courses and 1 correspondence course, I am finally free! No more classes, no more assignments, no more papers. Granted I still have my correspondence exam on the 13th of August, but other than that, I am free! This summer has been a busy one; busier than I expected. I am working half-time, volunteering (when I can), and had school. But now August has come, and I am glad. Time to attend weddings, venture into the Prairies for the very first time, and go to camp. Time to make use of my UBC Photo Society membership. Time to plan for Wilfred Laurier. Time to get my piano playing up to performance standard. Time to learn the guitar. Time to learn how to sing properly.

And most importantly, time to enjoy summer, enjoy the sunshine, and enjoy the daffodils.

A Poet's Rose

Thanks to AT, I now have access to a scanner! Woohoo! Yes, one more step into the digital age for Michelle. As of this moment, I still prefer using my Pentax Spotmatic-F camera, a film SLR that is approximately 30 years old. Yes, that's right people. Film. I'll plan to enter the digital camera age when I save enough money to buy a DSLR. Which will probably take about... five years....

And now that I have access to a scanner, perhaps I will make this blog more of a photo blog. We'll see. The capturing of Moments.

The Wedding

I know it's nine days later, but better late than never! A little reflection on the wedding.

I didn't get stressed until the last couple days before the wedding. That's how I usually am though. All is fine and dandy until I start thinking of all the little things I need to do, realizing that all these little things can add up and result in a large chunk of time. The day before the wedding, I was still putting finishing touches on my speech.

In the end it all turned out well. Everything looked wonderful, and the whole day ran smoothly (well, at least from my viewpoint). We were a little rushed in the morning, with the hair, makeup, and quickly helping my sister put on her dress (which had a corset). I tried to do her dress up quickly so that we wouldn't arrive at the church too late, but the corset took a while to do properly. Apparently most wedding ceremonies start a little later than scheduled, so no one seemed to mind too much that we were a bit late. The flower girl and ring bearer were very cute, the men all looked spiffy in their tuxedos and shiny shoes, and as my dad walked down with my beaming sister, he looked more nervous than the bride! But after the walk down the aisle, he was all smiles. ML sang his song, and as I accompanied him with the piano, I could hardly hear his guitar so I was intently looking at his strumming and his fingering so I would know when he changed chords and what his rhythm was like. I wasn't sure if his guitar was in the system properly, or if there just wasn't any monitors. In any case, my sister cried tears of joy, happiness, and "oh, that's so sweet!" (ML wrote it for her as his vow, and she had never heard it before).

The photographers and videographers seemed very good. Though I haven't seen the pictures yet, nor have much exposure to the trade, they seemed very experienced and good at what they do. Most of the pictures weren't posed, and they sought to make all the shots look natural. As if we were laughing. All the time. And the photographer had all Nikon equipment :D Not bad.... so maybe I'm biased :D Though it was really windy and cold, we thank God that it didn't rain. The weather had been so random recently. It could rain, hail, and be sunny all in the same day. (Yep, that's Vancouver). The wedding was on a Saturday. On Friday it rained. On Sunday it rained. And Saturday night it rained. But Saturday afternoon, it was perfect. Cloudy. Which is perfect for photos.

The banquet went well. Though we had to keep our eye on some of ML's old prankster friends, a couple 'instances' occurred, but nothing horrible. I was scheduled to give my toast during the chicken course, which is about the eighth course (out of ten). I was getting nervous before we even started eating. I had been taking Toastmasters the last few months, but I wasn't sure if I was going to remember anything that I had learned. I was not looking forward to seeing chicken.

My sister had a few dress changes during the night, so occasionally we would get up and go into the back room to change. The first dress change was into her traditional Chinese dress, after which we went around to all the tables to say 'cheers!' The restaurant gave us special glasses with a drink in it, and at first I was a little weary. I cannot take alcohol at all. I turn pretty pink pretty fast. But thankfully, as LL discovered, it was just Coke. Woohoo! The second dress change was into a pretty baby blue dress, that made my sister look like a Chinese Cinderella. And when we came back to the head table, I noticed three plates by my seat. One with fish, one with vegetables, and one with chicken.

The MC informed me that I would be doing my speech next. Quickly I asked who would go first, me or the best man. They were both a bit indifferent, so I let the best man go first. Then I could eat some food. And calm down a bit.

When it was time for me to do my speech, I felt alright. Slightly nervous, but hopefully not too evident to the audience. The room was huge, and I tried to make 'eye contact' so I just looked at the one table I knew of familiar faces, and then to the bride and groom, and back and forth. I think it worked out. I have yet to watch myself on the video that we have, but I think I'll wait a little longer until its... not so fresh. So that by the time I watch it, if I made a fool out of myself, by that time no one will remember it anyway. And my brother said it was good, and asked how long I've been going to Toastmasters (which is good, meaning Toastmaster's helped), and some others said it was good too. And my sister said it was the perfect amount that she felt she would almost-cry-but-just-enough-that-she-didn't-cry.

And so my sister is gone. And she's a Li. And she took my futon! So I get to sleep on her bed now. And now I have an extra big room. But I'm sure they'll come visit. After all, they don't really know how to cook yet. Heehee :)

Thirteen

Thirteen.

Thirteen days until the big day.
Thirteen days until my sister gets married.
Thirteen days until she walks down that aisle into a new life.

Thirteen days to write my speech.
Thirteen days until I make my speech.
Thirteen days to practice my speech.

Thirteen more days to borrow her clothes.
Thirteen more days she will be living in the same house.
Thirteen more days until I will miss her.

Thirteen days until she is no longer a Quan, but a Li.

But a sister is forever.

A Mouse in the House

Or should I say, the apartment. Or our building.

A few weeks ago, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something small and dark scurry past. It freaked me out. I thought it might be a mouse. I started poking around where I saw it run into, but it didn't appear again, and after not hearing any rustling noises I attributed what I saw to have been part of my imagination. Over the next couple of days, I didn't see anymore scurrying, so I concluded that it really was my imagination.

Until a couple of days ago.

Again, I saw a mouse scurry past. This time, for sure. I even saw the tail. "Ewwwwwwwwwww," was my reaction. I told my roommate, and we went to inspect a little. I saw it run into a pile of newspapers and a bag of juice containers that we would eventually take into Safeway to get our deposit refund. As I stood with a large plastic container in my hand, JL got the broom. I told her to poke the pile and if the mouse came scurrying out, I'd try to trap it in the container. We stood there for a couple minutes, apprehensive. She finally poked around with the broom, and nothing came scurrying out. So it wasn't in the pile. Where did it go? Where did it come from? Under the stove? Is there a hole somewhere? There were no rustling noises, or other signs of a mouse co-habiting with us. We concluded that it must have came in and out of our apartment through a little gap underneath our door. I started to think again that maybe it was my imagination. In any case, JL immediately went out and got two mousetraps. We set them up along the walls, as mice tend to run along walls. Apparently these mousetraps will chop its head off when it goes for the bait. A part of me wants the mouse to be caught. Another part of me doesn't want to clean up the mess. Or even see the results of the decapitation, for that matter.

Later on, JL also saw the mouse scurry past. So it definitely wasn't my imagination.

The mouse has yet to make another appearance. We've blocked the gap under the front door with various items to keep the mouse out. Let's hope the mouse isn't blocked in... If it is, it is very quiet, very good at hiding. And very brave.

Update

So I guess I haven't updated my blog for a while...

Today is the last day of school. The sun is shining, people are happy, laughing and smiling. Unfortunately, I'm not getting the 'last day of school' vibe. For the past few days I've been feeling sick. I've been coughing, and have had boughts of feeling hot... then chilly... then hot and chilly at the same time. Oh, and I've had a couple funny sneezing occassions, where I would go through a large sneezing motion of "Ahhhhhhhh" and then a really small "choo," which sometimes is nothing really at all. It feels quite weird, I must say. Like I need to get out the "choo," but my nose isn't congested. Thankfully, my roomies have given me some of their medication, and today I am a bit better, and hopefully I will fully recover soon. I am also thankful that I didn't have anything due these past few days...

My final composition was performed last Tuesday. It went pretty well. I ended up writing for solo SATB. My text was from Psalm 13. Like many Psalms, it starts out with the author crying out to the Lord in despair, and ends with a quiet joy as he trusts and rejoices in God's salvation. I thought it would provide a good tension, build, shape and form to my piece. I was able to find performers, however it was difficult to all meet together to practice. I met up with the girls, then I met up with the guys. Then when we were going to all meet up together the day before the performance, both girls got sick and weren't at school. In the end it was alright. We practiced for a few minutes before the performance, and I played the piano a bit while they sang (I wanted it to be sung acapella). But since the piece was fairly difficult, it was understandable that I had to play along and try to keep them in tune.

I've also read a few more books: Life of Pi, Tuesdays with Morrie, and The Five People You Meet in Heaven. All very good books. I was quite surprised I got through them so fast, as I usually am not the avid reader and often take a long time to finish one book. Over the past few summers, I have accumulated a book list of books I want to read. There are a lot of books on that list.. maybe this summer I will be able to get through it.

Blue Like Jazz

I don't laugh out loud very often when I read books. I believe the last time I did, was around Christmas time when I was standing in Chapters reading Fox Trot. I hadn't read comics in a while, so I picked up a fairly new publication and started reading. And I found myself chuckling. Audibly. I'm glad my voice isn't very loud, so I'm sure there weren't too many people who heard me. I don't base the value of a book on its ability to make me laugh. The nature of some books are serious, thought-provoking, or adventurous. But when I come across a book about Christian spirituality that makes me laugh out loud, well, that is something to take notice of.

Blue Like Jazz is written by a man named Donald Miller. He shares his experiences: his struggles, his questions, and what he learns, from friends, from God, and from life. I found that it was different from other 'Christian' books that I've read. This one seemed more real, more personal. He doesn't claim to know all the answers or to be perfect. He just shares his life. What you choose to take away from it is up to you. What made me chuckle was just the way he wrote. He has wit.

An enjoyable, thought-provoking book.

A Poser Composer

I'm taking an introductory music composition class this year. Right this moment, I am procrastinating from writing this composition.

Composition turned out to be a lot harder than I imagined. To be able to write something good, something even half-decent, takes a lot of time. We are to push the boundaries and use new techniques. No longer living in the 18th Century, we don't use classical music as a model. The romantic music of the 19th Century was nice as well, but is now considered fairly conventional. Even the strange electric musical sounds is dated to the 20th Century. We're now in the 21st Cenutry, so what happens now? How is one supposed to come up with something new and original, something modern? Well, I guess I could do anything. There are so many styles. But what will make it interesting and new, yet sound good and not weird? It is always hard for me to come up with a good 'theme,' and be able to develop it well throughout the piece without being too repetitive, yet not introducing too many contrasting ideas.

Inspiration, they say. But inspiration is so abstract. How do you get inspired? Well.. I don't think you can sit there and wait for inspiration to come. Inspiration comes and sneaks up on you when you least expect it. And when it does, its great. You get excited and everything (at least for a while) flows. But if it doesn't.... well thats where I am. I can't just not do my work and say to my prof, "Well, the inspiration just didn't come."

So here I am, procrastinating. I need to finish this soon, so I can get this to my performers to practice. Yes, performers. On the day I hand my composition in, it has to be performed in front of the class. For all to hear, and for me to hear how much better everyone else's is. So I actually have to finish this a week ahead of time, get it to my performers, schedule a rehearsal, and then hope that it goes well.

It's not all bad I guess. I have to find my own performers for each composition, and I don't usually enjoy this part either. I have to find and ask people if they would be willing to play my composition. They don't really get anything out of it, and they are voluntarily giving up their time to practice my little piece and to have rehearsals. Music students have surprised me with their generosity and helpfulness. So far, I've been able to find performers with just a little bit of difficulty. This time I have a harpist and a violist.

I'm a little bit excited about my final composition already. I want to do a vocal piece, with solo SATB voices. I'm thinking of using text from the Bible. Haven't decided which passage yet though. Anyone wanna sing? :)

I feel like a spy...

I've been reading people's Xanga sites again. Through GL's, I can link to other people's sites, like TMs, PKs, and CWs, who are in my mind all affiliated with school. Through TMs page, I see a comment from AF, who I also know, but never really connected her with TM. And through AFs site, I then found some people from church that I know too. But now I feel like a spy. Like I know things about peoples lives that they haven't directly told me. True, they did willingly post their own experiences online, but.. yea. Maybe its because I don't feel like I know these people -as- much, so reading about their lives makes me feel like a spy. Perhaps I should just try to actually TALK to these people more.

But the corner has a mango in it. Maybe it'll be thrown into the middle of the room.

Emotional Health

Yesterday at church, the pastor talked about our emotional health and the importance of grieving well. I am generally fairly nonchalant, however recently I've realized the importance of being emotional and being open about it. This sermon hit home and made me think more about my own emotional health.

The pastor pointed out that our emotional health and spiritual maturity are inseparable. All his knowledge about theology could not help him when he had bouts of depression. He had to learn how to grieve well. Pointing us to the story of Job, he showed us how Job dealt with his grief, and how we can apply that to our lives.

First of all, we need to pay attention to our loss. We are continually going through loss. We get older, circumstances change, people come and go. Our lives are full of transition. However, when our lives get tough, we often go into denial, or distract ourselves from what we need to deal with. So the first step is to actually pay attention and deal with our loss.

Secondly, we need to wait. We need to wait on the Lord. Our lives may be confusing, and we may not understand what God is doing, but God is God. And we are creatures. Job certainly didn't deserve what was happening to him. His friends kept trying to rationalize it, saying that Job must have done something wrong and that he is being punished for his sins. But we know that this is not true. We are always asking why loss happens, but perhaps we should wait upon the Lord. He may or may not answer our questions, but restoration will come in time.

Lastly, let go and move on. Let the old birth the new. Don't cling to the past, but let it help you move forward. God made Job a blessing, as Job let God move him through his suffering. Job became a changed man and a servant of God.

-P. Scazzero

Things like this are always easier said than done. I'll be starting right at the beginning. What am I distracting myself with? What am I not dealing with? Though I never watched Mandy Moore's (or as my brother would say, 'Mandy Less' hahaha as I roll my eyes..) movie "How to Deal," I think this sermon has given me a much better idea of what to do.

Let's see.

I occasionally like to visit other people's blogs. Sometimes interesting, sometimes funny, and sometimes uplifiting, its nice to be able to read people's stories. Sometimes I read the blogs of people I don't even know, through links from a friend's blog.

I especially enjoy reading what God has been doing in people's lives. It is encouraging and challenging to read about the struggles and experiences people face, and how they have overcome and grown with God.

Now I can't promise anything uplifting or encouraging with my blog, but I think I will begin sharing my thoughts and experiences with you as well.

Let's see what happens.